Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The uberlube is also flammable
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
