we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
