I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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