Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
