THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
