Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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