I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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