i just wanna soil my oats bro
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize