cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
