i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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