He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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