He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
