it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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