I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
