Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
