I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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