You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
