Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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