I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
