Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I could fuck to npr.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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