You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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