I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
