Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Randomize
