Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
