what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
