I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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