Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
