In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
