Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
