Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
is it fun? or sober?
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