Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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