? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
