My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I love you. Go after that dick
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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