He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
