I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
