My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
