with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
