Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
