I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Quick, to the slutcave!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
