Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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