so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
