Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
bring money and cleavage
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
