It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
