If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
