i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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