It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize