Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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