weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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