thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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