Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
