I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
