dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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