im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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