That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
