I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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