the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
