they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
