matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
