there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
