so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
