Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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