Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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