I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
