Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
