Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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