I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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