It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
