Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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