he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
