He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
