She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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