turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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