Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
