I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
did i walk over a car last night?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize