I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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